you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
