I just pynch a tree in the face
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and she was petting her beer can
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
