Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
