all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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