I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
