she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
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That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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