Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
