I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
