marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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