i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
