just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize