The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.