sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
