So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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