At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...