blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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