just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
