New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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