If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
