Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
