Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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