took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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