you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
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you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
And then he peed in my hair
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