i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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