Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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