someone threw a dead crab at me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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