dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this will be a night to untag.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
