If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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