Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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