I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize