It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
