I think I am morally bankrupt
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
