Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize