Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
