I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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