New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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