My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
