they need to just BURY HIM!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.