Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.

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(484): you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it. http://tfl.nu/od01

Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (628)
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(716): View more from New York

After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant

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(716): After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant http://tfl.nu/56nj

Replies (14) Good night (4580) Bad night (630)
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(585): View more from New York

My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.

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(585): My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life. http://tfl.nu/28dk

Replies (54) Good night (1590) Bad night (4641)
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(316): View more from Kansas

She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....

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(316): She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar.... http://tfl.nu/1ee9

Replies (15) Good night (1093) Bad night (5116)
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(248): View more from Michigan

She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.

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(248): She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot. http://tfl.nu/w0w1

Replies (37) Good night (5083) Bad night (1069)
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(315): View more from New York

I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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(315): I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic? http://tfl.nu/satp

Replies (23) Good night (4219) Bad night (1101)
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(716): View more from New York

i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.

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(716): i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents. http://tfl.nu/knds

Replies (9) Good night (3539) Bad night (639)
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(303): View more from Colorado

YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.

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(303): YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW. http://tfl.nu/0vlm

Replies (2) Good night (1012) Bad night (404)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

(415): View more from California

Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

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(937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c

Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (461)
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(269): View more from Michigan

So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea

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(269): So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea http://tfl.nu/13gp

Replies (5) Good night (567) Bad night (1603)
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(248): View more from Michigan

They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients

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(248): They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients http://tfl.nu/50sw

Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (251)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.

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(512): Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss. http://tfl.nu/t3a0

Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (298)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.

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(601): This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw. http://tfl.nu/221m

Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (197)
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(415): View more from California

I have a present for you

(415): View more from California

Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked

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(415): I have a present for you (415): Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked http://tfl.nu/cd6u

Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (192)
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(713): View more from Texas

Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE

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(713): Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE http://tfl.nu/k4x4

Replies (9) Good night (1208) Bad night (206)

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