i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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