Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

(330): View more from Ohio

I'll alert the authorities

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot

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(815): View more from Illinois

He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.

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(325): View more from Texas

Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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(574): View more from Indiana

You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.

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