hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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