that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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