I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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