Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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