I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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