Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize