I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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