id be glad to
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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