a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
