Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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