I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
