we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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