Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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