yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
