I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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