dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
