Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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