thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
