I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Sorry about my life...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
