$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
