I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
