One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
