Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
