i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
