I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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