Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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