Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
