I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
babies were throwing up all over the place
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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